“Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2”
I hadn’t seen the first Mall Cop and after sitting through the second one I am thankful that I have not. The thing is I knew full well that this film would probably be bad because I’d heard nothing but bad things and yet I was still unprepared.
Six years after the events of the first film, which included an attack on a mall on Black Friday from what I could infer, Paul Blart (Kevin James) goes to a mall cop convention in Las Vegas. However, at the same time a group of criminals attempt to rob the hotel of valuable items and threaten his daughter. That’s the closest I can get to a plot summary because there really wasn’t much of a plot or anything that could constitute a movie besides the footage they shot.
I would like to initially go through the good points, few though they are, because I don’t enjoy ripping a film apart and would prefer it if a movie was a good cinematic experience instead of film equivalent of a turd. Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is quite a short film so at least I didn’t suffer for very long. There are also about three decent jokes which equated to three snorts of laughter every half an hour which is more than The Godfather.
And now for the bad parts. Nearly all of the other “jokes” are made at the expense of stereotypes to do with fat people, gay people and the elderly. There are also several “jokes” that I didn’t get but I could tell were supposed to be funny because there was clearly a pause for the expected laughter. The thing is a comedy is supposed to be funny. If it fails in this regard for almost the entirety of its runtime then the film should probably not exist.
The product placement is also so blatant I felt violated by the end of the film. I also felt mildly insulted because the filmmakers either didn’t care or thought you wouldn’t notice and I’m not sure which is worse.
So to sum up Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is terrible, unfunny, exploitative and failed to fulfil virtually all of the criteria for a feature length film. However, at least it was short but that should never be the best thing you can say about a movie.